Before Gail's father died, Helen and her family relocated to Europe to fulfill a military assignment. In a letter that Helen still keeps, Gail explained her feelings about being beside her father at the time of his death, nursing him during his illness, and about the hope and courage she gained from the experience. Gail wrote that while watching her father die was not easy, it was a wonderful experience for them to share.
At that time in the United States, families were encouraged to leave the side of the dying person; children were "protected from death" and death was viewed as an "if" in life and not a "when." However, hospice practices were in use in Europe, with one of the most noted being St. Christopher's Hospice outside London, England. Conceptually, the idea of hospice moved from Europe to Canada to the United States.
Upon Helen's return from Europe, she and Gail reconnected and determined that they would start a hospice program in the Winchester area. Simultaneously, the Winchester Memorial Hospital (now Winchester Medical Center), represented by George Caley, then hospital vice-president and Peg Harrill, nursing director, was investigating the same cause.
During the earliest days of Blue Ridge Hospice, Helen and Gail met with George Caley to determine the president of the fledgling organization's first board of directors. The equitable way to decide came to a flip of a coin. Helen won the toss and thus became the first president of Blue Ridge Hospice. With leadership organized, the hospital joined forces with the two women and work began in earnest.
The first board of directors was formed, including an attorney, a hospital representative, an oncologist and other physicians, a specialist in public relations and community leaders. Their common denominator was a belief that family involvement at the time of death was important.
Caroline Hastreiter was appointed the first director and funds were awarded through a Venture in Missions grant from the Episcopal Diocese in Richmond, Virginia. With a limited budget, the organization's future looked bleak. In late1983 Helen asked The Winchester Star to publish an article on the concept of hospice and the local need for this type of service. With an overwhelming sense of community support, funds arrived. Nearly $15,000 was raised from this first public demonstration for the need for hospice care in the Winchester area.
"The means have always seemed to come. If we were on the right track, following what seemed necessary, the money was there," Helen said. This example of faith also led to hiring Nikki Hill as the first registered nurse for Blue Ridge Hospice. The Health Department that had provided nursing care for Hospice could no longer carry the additional responsibilities associated with hospice patients. "So with another leap of faith and no money, we hired Nikki," said Helen.
Thanks to the influence of hospice, Americans now embrace a different outlook on death and dying. "The work of doctors like Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and others has helped us nationally to admit that death is not an if in life, but a when. We can now better admit that death is not a failing of family, or the medical treatment or God, but it is the natural result of being alive," Helen Zebarth said.
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